FLIES IN YOUR EYES,

AIN’T NO BIG SURPRISE

By: Mick Blankenship

It feels like Ethiopia outside, and my friends and I can’t stop the heat. Mosquito, gnat, ant, and fleas have reunited this black summer with unlimited love for you as the Red Hot Chilin Pests. By the way, the bugs around here will eat you up so terribly, there’ll be nothing left of you but your soul to squeeze. Twisting and turning, your bug bites are burning, they’re biting your girl. Forget about relaxing on your front porch swing, these bugs will make you want to give it away. The mosquitoes will wait for you under the bridge downtown. They’ll have you drawing blood, and it seems they just can’t get enough. The dark necessities of the ant will leave you so bitten up that you are left with scar tissue. The flea will have you sucking his kiss from the other side of your sock, no matter where you wear it. The gnats will make you want to get in your airplane and head west for some Californication, or north for the snow. Now, if you can tell me how many Red Hot Chili Pepper references are in this paragraph, I’ll give you a $5 Blankenships’ gift certificate. If you don’t know who RHCP are, then please forgive the awkward writing and continue reading. I’m done with my homage. RHCP is one of the greatest American rock bands of all time formed in 1983 who just released its 12th album. If you don’t know them, you should check them out.

But my article is not about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And it’s not about mosquitos, gnats, ants, or fleas either. It’s about pests that will annoy you inside or outside without even biting you. I’m talking about house flies. They carry and can transfer over 100 disease causing pathogens. While feeding on trash, feces, and other decaying substances, they pick up disease organisms with their legs and mouths. They then land on your food and defecate. How lovely. You won’t know it because their puke is too small to see. But it’s there, as you insert your food into your mouth, chew, and swallow. Plus they are rather annoying when they are buzzing around your head. Flies have a short life cycle. They can grow from egg to adult in 6 days and live only about 20 days. However, their reproductive capabilities make up for their short life cycle. A female will reproduce about 5 times in her life, laying around 100 eggs each time. House flies are usually only active during the day. At night, they rest about 10 feet off the ground, close to their food source. House flies actually taste with their feet. They don’t have teeth, so they use their mouth to liquefy solid foods through spitting and regurgitation. Then they suck up the food with their straw shaped tongues. They feed on any type of food, fresh or decaying. They are particularly fond of dog poop as they are attracted to the potent odor. If you have dogs that poop in your yard, you are going to have flies unless you walk behind your dog all day cleaning up after it. Flies prefer the lower 80-degree range, so when it gets into the 90s outside, they find the cool breeze around your windows and try to get in. In midtown, we have old homes with imperfect windows. This gives flies easy access. I have two dogs that poop all over my yard. We poop scoop every couple of days, but it is not enough. It is not uncommon for us to have 2 or 3 flies per window in our house, especially in rooms where we eat.

Humane Remedies

If you are a person of extreme compassion and your heart bleeds for the lives of all living things, you are rather limited in your house fly prevention measures. All you can do is keep your home immaculate from any traces of food. If you have pets, you will need to clean up poop as often as possible and not leave their food out. Unfortunately, it probably won’t be enough. You can make, or purchase, natural fly repellants made from hot peppers or fragrant oils, but the effectiveness is questionable and that may not be something you want to spray all over your windows.

Natural Remedies

If you are OK with the death of house flies, but not OK with the use of chemicals, you have more options. Tried and true is the fly swatter. You can kill a handful of flies every day by keeping a fly swatter nearby. Or if one or two flies snuck into your bedroom, a fly swatter is an effective remedy. Plus, fly swatters can be kind of fun, especially the ones that look like a tennis racket and carry an electrical charge. You can also use your hand as a fly swatter if you are OK with that. Just wash up afterwards. The trick is, when there is a fly on your window, place your fingertips together and against the glass above the fly as if you are going to scratch the glass. Attack downward towards the fly. The fly’s reaction is to escape upwards so he flies right into your fingertips. It is very difficult to swat them with your hand any other way. They are too fast and will get away. There are also clear, sticky, window traps you can use that are very effective and hands free. It is a clear piece of plastic with a sticky surface that adheres to your window. Flies will get stuck to it while buzzing around your window. I’ve put 2 or 3 per window, and have been able to catch 2 or 3 flies per trap, per day. Bug zappers outside your home are an effective way to reduce the fly population. There are 100s of different bug zappers on the market, but they all work by attracting the flies with light and zapping them with an electrical charge. I would suggest getting one with an additional attractant since the light will only work at night. However, the attractant might be smelly and you will not want to put the zapper close to places where you hang out such as the porch.

Highly Effective Remedies

The problem with humane and natural remedies is that while they do help, and put a small dent in the fly population, they will not take care of a bad infestation. If you want to extinguish a large chunk of the population, you’re going to have to use chemicals. I have two products that are by far the best sellers in the summer for taking care of flies. These products have to be used outside as they use an attractant to attract the flies and it smells like death because that’s what flies like, dead things. And you will not want to place these products where people hang out, but that’s OK. If flies are bothering you on your back porch, you can place these products on your back fence. The flies will stop bothering you on the porch and head for the attractant at the fence.

Fly Bait is the most popular and most effective product we sell. It is a can of little granules made up of attractant and poison. You can simply place a little bit on a dish and place it in the yard. Restaurants often take the top off the can and place the whole can by their dumpsters. Wherever you put this stuff, the flies will come, eat it, and die by the hundreds. There are two drawbacks to this product. One, it is the smelliest of all the fly products. I was a runner for a law firm once, and I picked up some fly bait for the office. It was summer and I left it in my car while I ran some other errands. The heat apparently caused the attractant to penetrate the can. When I got back in my car, it smelled like death. When I got back to the office, I told my coworkers that my car smells like someone died in it. They politely said, well I’ve got news for you. It’s not just your car that smells. My car smelled for weeks and I burned my clothes. So don’t leave this product in your car during the summer. The other drawback of this product is that other animals might be attracted to it. Be careful where you put it and definitely keep it out of reach for any cats or dogs.

Fly Traps are a close second to fly bait when it comes to effectiveness. These products use the same kind of attractant as fly bait. The trap is basically a plastic bag with a top for hanging and a vent that allows flies access to the trap. Flies smell the attractant, go into the bag, and can’t get out. Fly traps have a couple of advantages over fly bait. Because this product hangs, it is out of reach for most other animals. Plus, any chemicals are sealed in the bag where only flies can get to it. The other advantage is that the smell is not quite as strong as with fly bait. You don’t have to hang these too far away from humans, however, it does still have a smell and you wouldn’t want it on the porch with you. The disadvantage of fly traps is that you are limited in how many flies you can kill. If you have a lot of flies, the bag will fill up in a couple of days and you will have to throw it away and put out a new bag if there are still flies. The presence of flies is fairly inevitable and quite a nuisance. They don’t discriminate by class. Whether you live in a shotgun shack or a Government St mansion, they are coming for you. Pick your weapon and prepare for war.